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Feeding the Muse


“I’m a devotee of the muse.” I stated, looking down at my thin pale fingers upon the bar. They were too thin. Too blue white, even under the stained light and smoke. They were fingers that would scuttle into your pocket when you weren’t looking. Fingers that would  page through your life and walk away with your memories on their backs.I swooned in the haze of cigar...

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My Last Flight has Taken Me Somewhere Unexpected [Part 1]


This is the first time I have ever flown first class. It is also the last flight I ever intend to take. You would think that the universe would adapt to this and give a dying girl an enjoyable final journey. Some part of me hopes that the next world operates under these, more kind and generous, sorts of rules. Let’s get this out of the way first. Yes, I am going to kill myself. No it is not...

Grandma’s Special Plate


I loved my Grandmother.  Everyone did. You could see it on their faces when she would walk into town.  She would greet each everyone, their names rolling off her tongue at will, and they would bask in her attention. And even though my little eight-year-old self had been just one of many devotees of her radiance, she always made me feel special.  My parents lives were a constant...

I’m Afraid it’s Time


Have you ever glanced at an analog clock to find that the second hand has frozen.  You instinctively know that a second, perhaps even two, has passed. Even as the timepiece refutes your ingrained theories. This is a known phenomena. Studied, cataloged, discussed and dubbed chronostasis.  It is the same phenomena that prevents you from seeing your own eyes move in a mirror as you shift...

I Thought it Was Just a Simple Child Abduction


Little Kayla Jameson disappeared on January 10th, at 4:30pm. One hour after I had passed her in the hall. One hour after her eyes met mine and I watched the concern drop from her face to be replaced with an open smile. A small gift for me, from a troubled and kindhearted child. I was shocked when the police informed me that I had been the last person to see her. I kept repeating to myself that I...

I Found Myself, and then I Was Found


Everyone simply accepts this idea that men around the age of 45 will go through a “midlife crisis”. This is utter societal bullshit. I’ll tell you exactly what happens. It is something deeper. More true. Darker. Young men grow up with certainty. The moment they sever that connection to their myopic predecessors, they come into their own immediately. They know what they like...

I killed a Girl Last Night.


“I killed a girl last night. A teenager.” It was the first line on the first page of the journal. The owner came in tonight ensconced a swarm of frantic EMTs and flashing lights. Any nurse will tell you that full moon nights were often like this, and in my experience it is surprisingly true. Snapping into action, I jogged alongside the gurney, preparing to take vitals and launching a...

The Wanderers Have Arrived


What do you get when when you gather three extremely introverted individuals? Your answer may be different, but for us it was “The Wanderers”. The three Wanderers consisted of myself, Danni and Raymond. Each of us were quite different people from diverse backgrounds but shared a binding commonality based on our preference for solitude. Each of us were so antisocial that it took us...

Going Downhill Fast


It was Walter Jr. who wrecked my life. He was the pebble that hit the window just right. The splinter that made you trip on the stairs and break your neck. He was always that, even before. My brother Walter was just the kind of fuckwit to go ahead and try to make sure his son carried his fuckwit genes by making him his namesake. Walter wasn’t shit. Dead end job, a habit of doing the exact...

Don’t stop, or you will see the Tik-Clack Man


Everyone has them I suppose. Those times that I have dubbed “Frantic Enjoyment”. Those times between dinner and bedtime for the kids, after work and while your spouse is occupied. Those times when you can breath and want nothing but the height of personal joy before things return to their stasis. Before the demands of our environs and company outweigh any hope of self. Those moments...

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