Everyone simply accepts this idea that men around the age of 45 will go through a “midlife crisis”. This is utter societal bullshit. I’ll tell you exactly what happens. It is something deeper. More true. Darker. Young men grow up with certainty. The moment they sever that connection to their myopic predecessors, they come into their own immediately. They know what they like...
“I killed a girl last night. A teenager.” It was the first line on the first page of the journal. The owner came in tonight ensconced a swarm of frantic EMTs and flashing lights. Any nurse will tell you that full moon nights were often like this, and in my experience it is surprisingly true. Snapping into action, I jogged alongside the gurney, preparing to take vitals and launching a...
What do you get when when you gather three extremely introverted individuals? Your answer may be different, but for us it was “The Wanderers”. The three Wanderers consisted of myself, Danni and Raymond. Each of us were quite different people from diverse backgrounds but shared a binding commonality based on our preference for solitude. Each of us were so antisocial that it took us...
It was Walter Jr. who wrecked my life. He was the pebble that hit the window just right. The splinter that made you trip on the stairs and break your neck. He was always that, even before. My brother Walter was just the kind of fuckwit to go ahead and try to make sure his son carried his fuckwit genes by making him his namesake. Walter wasn’t shit. Dead end job, a habit of doing the exact...
Everyone has them I suppose. Those times that I have dubbed “Frantic Enjoyment”. Those times between dinner and bedtime for the kids, after work and while your spouse is occupied. Those times when you can breath and want nothing but the height of personal joy before things return to their stasis. Before the demands of our environs and company outweigh any hope of self. Those moments...
I can see them scuttling. Back and forth and along the walls. I hear them tapping at the spaces in between, where floor meets sky and doors stay closed, holding off the nowhere. The lines they trace as they flee. In their fleeing they see me. We stare. Until I nod, we stare and stare. It’s fear but cities away, bombs away and it’s a tear in the ocean for the soldier. The soldier...
It’s ironic that the one piece of advice that my father provided me, was ultimately fulfilled by his untimely death. He had repeated it several times throughout my life and always delivered it with such seriousness, each time stood out like a beacon in my memory. “Jacob…” he would begin and pause for some time. “There is only one single path to success. One day you...
Greetings everyone. My name is Dwayne. I’m a state trooper out of New Haven Connecticut. I’ve been on the force for almost 20 years and a few months back something strange happened that I’ve not been able to shake. I’ve always been a bit of a drinker but ever since that night things have been bad. I’ve been irritable, out of sorts and frankly drinking through each...
What I am going to share with you today started many years ago. It was a time in my life marred by tragedy, severe depression, and several near attempts at suicide. It took an immense amount of emotional exploration and healing as well as time, but it did lead me to my passion for travel and exploration which became the most meaningful thing in my life. The dark did eventually lead me to light...
I was out in the woods behind my house today and I came to a realization. I realized that I have a story to tell. In fact I’ve held this particular story for some time, almost thirty years now. However, I did not know that I had a tale to share until very recently. I had always assumed that this memory must have been a nightmare that I had as a child, and remembered it as a real waking...